An important issue that comes up is how to let go of a ghost mother, emotionally, or literally. There can be a strong sense of loss in doing so, this is a huge step, but holding on to something that doesn’t really exist doesn’t make sense.

A way to illustrate this is to share a story about cleaning out my closet; I kept putting this off, can you relate? Once I made up my mind to just do it, all went well. Soon I had a pile of clothes to donate to charity, and a closet that was organized. It was easy now to see what I had available to wear, which wasn’t much…

Then I realized what made it so difficult to tackle this task. At some level I knew that once I cleared out clothes that no longer fit or looked good, I wouldn’t have much left. But here’s the thing ~ the belief that I had a closet full of great clothes was an ILLUSION. I didn’t have any more outfits to wear before I cleaned than I did afterwards.

In fact I was pretending, deluding myself, that I had a full closet of wearable clothing.

Cleaning out my closet meant finally facing my clothing reality; I didn’t LOSE anything by letting go of stuff that was just hanging there. Nothing changed except that it was now easier to get dressed in the morning. I lost nothing, but I did come to terms with what was available to me, and what wasn’t…girl-blowing-dandelion-2