Often there is resistance to the suggestion that it’s important to try to understand the reasons your ghost mother is emotionally unavailable. It can be even more difficult to let go of the long held hope that she is going to provide the nurturing and guidance you need from her.
As I discuss in my book, when you’re able to shift your perspective to accept that this is how things are, rather than avoiding this reality, you’ll view your mother in dramatically different ways. This changes everything because it allows you to heal, and to move forward. When you come to see that it’s her illusive behavior that defines her, you will no longer hold on to unrealistic expectations for what she can provide.