Kathryn Rudlin’s article was featured in San Diego Woman Magazine’s 2015 Expert Issue.
Women who grow up poorly mothered often experience lingering distress and haunting issues as a result. When mothers are unable to be nurturing or empathetic, daughters struggle.
Surprisingly, the most effective response is the one that seems the most counterintuitive. What I’ve learned is this: rather than ignore the painful feelings, embrace the truth of what you’ve experienced so it doesn’t continue to haunt you.
I’m often asked: What is the point of exploring this pain, or rehashing something that happened in childhood? The point is that we had to adapt to this difficult situation, in many ways raising ourselves, perhaps bending over backwards to please mom, or rebelling against her requests.
As adults we often don’t recalibrate our thoughts and behavior, perhaps continuing to be an excessive people pleaser or fighting a battle that was lost long ago.
The key to thriving as a ghost daughter is to become empowered by tapping into your courage, strength, and resilience.
In the process of reinventing yourself you find out who you truly are and how to get what you didn’t receive as a child.